So, set up some thrilling games for your Valentine’s Day party and share these humorous jokes with the company. We have gathered some amusing jokes for kids, couples, and singles to spice up your party night. So, what are you waiting for? Let’s dig into it.
21 Valentine’s Day Jokes For Kids
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine? A: A Valen-tiny. I gave blood today. It may not be the best Valentine’s Day present, but at least it came from the heart. Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet? A: I find you very attractive Q: How did the phone propose? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time? A: Choco-late. Q: What do owls say to declare their love? A: Owl be yours! Q: What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? A: The day after, when all the candy is on sale. Q: What did one berry say to the other berry on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you “berry” much Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Somebunny loves you! Knock, knock.Who’s there?Emma.Emma who? “Emma” hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day! Knock, knockWho’s there? LukeLuke who? “Luke” who got a Valentine! Q: What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care? A: “I love BOO!” Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? A: No, they had an apple! Q: What’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine’s Day? A: “Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.” Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? A: Because he wanted to have sweet dreams. Q: What did the girl bee say to the boy bee on Valentine’s Day? A: I love bee-ing with you, honey! Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand… Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day? A: I love you bear-y much! Knock, knock.Who’s there? Egg!Egg who? Egg-cited to be your Valentine! Q: How can you tell the calendar is popular? A: It has lots of “dates.” Q: Why did the man have his girlfriend put in jail? A: Because she stole his heart.
20 Valentine’s Day Jokes for Adults
If there’s one thing I hate about Valentine’s Day…it’s my wife. Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent. Boyfriend: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something… I’m not rich like Jack, I don’t have a mansion like Russell or a Porsche like Martin. But, I do love you and want to marry you.” Girlfriend: “Oh, dear… I love you too… But, what was that you said about Martin?” If I could, I would wrap up all my love for you and put it in a gift box. But, they don’t make boxes large enough! To my beloved husband. You are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. And you don’t disappear when I get close to you! Roses are red, The grass is green, Take me to Valentine’s dinner, Or I’ll make a scene! You are my sweet Valentine. I like you like a fat kid likes cake. Love is like peeing your pants – everyone can see it but only you can feel it. Thanks for being the pee in my pants You plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics. If my girlfriend doesn’t behave nicely to me this Valentine’s Day, I’m totally going to show my rage and be in this shitty relationship for 2 more years. Boyfriend: What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day? Girlfriend: Tell me. Boyfriend: “We’re a perfect match.” I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, “I bought you an awesome Valentine’s Day gift! xox” I really hope she spelled ‘Xbox’ wrong. My wife rang me at work on Valentine’s Day. She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. They’re absolutely gorgeous.” I said, “That’s probably why they’ve been sent flowers then.” Last Valentine’s Day, my fiancée of four years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $5 million. I wonder what she’s doing nowadays… I’ve just booked a table for my girlfriend and me on Valentine’s Day. I hope she knows how to play snooker. For the last twenty years, I’ve received a Valentine’s Day card from the same secret admirer. So, I was upset when I didn’t get one this year. First my granny dies, now this? My girlfriend told me she hoped I had something special planned for Valentine’s Day. I said, “I’m working on it.” She smiled. Which was weird because I thought she’d be upset that I have go to work on Valentine’s Day. This year, I’ve gotten my wife a Valentine’s Day present that will really take her breath away. A treadmill. I think Cupid must need glasses. The last time I dated a girl, he missed my heart but hit my wallet.
20 Valentine’s Day Jokes For Singles
Q: What is the difference between a calendar and you? A: A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone. That special someone is me. If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember… Nobody loves you on any other day either. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry if you’re single. You’re going to die alone anyway! On your first date with a guy, don’t give him a list of mistakes made by your previous boyfriends to take home and study. That tingly feeling you get when you meet someone you’re really attracted to? That’s common sense leaving your body. What I say out loud: I don’t need any man in my life this Valentine’s Day. Men ain’t shit! What I say on the inside: What demons do I need to summon to get a guy talk to me? Q: What do single people call Valentine’s Day? A: Happy Independence Day! 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6,000,000,000+ people… AND I AM STILL SINGLE. I am not scared of getting dumped on Valentine’s Day…because I don’t have a girlfriend. I am going to spend my Valentine’s Day with my ex…box 360. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Vodka costs less, Than a dinner for two. Can’t wait to receive nothing on Valentine’s Day! Couples on Valentine’s Day: “Love is in the air.” Me: “No. Oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen are in the air.” Keep calm and SCREW Valentine’s Day…because I’m single Can we rename Valentine’s Day as Singles Awareness Day? Because you’re never more aware of the fact that you are single than this time of the year! I don’t need a Valentine. I need a billion dollars and fast metabolism. All the single birds flew away… Because they think that on Valentine’s Day, love is in the air! You: “Siri, why am I single?” Siri: activates front camera Do I have a date for Valentine ’s Day? Yes, February 14th.
